One of the more pleasant types of announcements I make here...

[x-cyclops.livejournal.com]

What with the events of the last few weeks, certain small niceties have dropped by the wayside. Understandable, but a shame, and I may be heading out of town shortly, but I wanted to rectify the lapse before I did.

We have a number of new trainees to welcome aboard. Marius, Jennie, Kyle, Janet, and Forge will be working with us. I'm sure you'll all make yourselves available to answer any questions they may have, and as training partners when I do get a new rotation drawn up.

For our new trainees - you now have full access to the database, including all of the training material and past missions. I'd suggest reading everything you can get your hands on, for a better understanding of what we do around here. One note, though - it's not kind to mock the follies of your elders. Some of us have heard all too many jokes about quicksand and coatracks and the like.

And on that note... trainee names, anyone?

Comments

[x-forge.livejournal.com]

I thought there were to be no silly trainee names! I have been duped! Man, there's no way out of this part, is there? I suppose it's like giving new military recruits the same horrible haircut and uniforms to give them a shared miserable experience to bond over. Couldn't we all just listen to Nathan talk about the Punic Wars or something?

[x-wildchild.livejournal.com]

Yeah and how silly are we talking here?

[x-cyclops.livejournal.com]

That would be up to your new teammates.

[x-cyclops.livejournal.com]

You could always ask him, when he gets back. Although all you'd wind up with then is a lecture on the Punic Wars and a silly trainee name.

[x-wildchild.livejournal.com]

Wow. It's like a big trainee party or something. Only without the party hats or confetti or cake.

How much reading are we talking here? And, dude, coatracks?

[x-skin.livejournal.com]

The coatrack was Nate. A crazy super-strong guy knocked him off a building with it.

[x-wildchild.livejournal.com]

The noise anyone might hear is totally not me laughing my butt off. Really.

[x-sanfuaiyaa.livejournal.com]

That sound you hear is my laughter. Pardon me.

Smarm, Showgirl, Beast Boy, Citronella, and MacGyver. Those are my suggestions.

[x-forge.livejournal.com]

MacGyver was an amateur. A hack, even.

I much prefer "Captain Awesome".

[x-emplate.livejournal.com]

Sorry to disappoint, mate, but in regards to awesome you are Corporal at best.

As for Smarm, it is preferable to Schmooze, if only because the former carries fewer connotations of an animated movie featuring technicolor horses.

[x-sanfuaiyaa.livejournal.com]

The names are supposed to be at least somewhat representative of you and your abilities, so I'm afraid that you will have to choose something else.

How about Maker? Storm controls the weather, Cyclops has one eye, Iceman makes ice . . . you make stuff. Ergo, you are Maker.

[x-wildchild.livejournal.com]

Beast Boy?

[x-sanfuaiyaa.livejournal.com]

We used to have a Beast, and he was big and furry. You are smaller and furry, and I have to admit, your voice bears an uncanny resemblance to the cartoon character.

[x-roulette.livejournal.com]

I protest on the grounds that my name should in no way carry sexual connotations of any kind. That means a moratorium on things like "Sexy Girl," "Hot Mama" and the like.

[x-forge.livejournal.com]

In that case, I got nothin'.

[x-wildchild.livejournal.com]

I still think it should be something like a gambling game. Texas Hold'em or something. I mean, since you've ruled out Five Card Cutie. (What? It's like Five Card Stud only you're a girl.)

[x-blink.livejournal.com]

Marius, Jennie, Kyle, Janet, and Forge = Core, Blackjack, Fang, Caprice and Tin Machine.

or maybe Sprite for Jan.

[x-skin.livejournal.com]

...why is Marius Core?

[x-wildchild.livejournal.com]

I'm gonna regret this, but I think I like Beast Boy better.

[x-juggernaut.livejournal.com]

I don't know what we can do about the tin man and the little bug girl. But I think Fancy Lad with the silly frou-frou hair looks like... what do you call them, those weird little goat-sucking things they have down in Costa Rica?

[x-emplate.livejournal.com]

Strange, though I have no idea what you could be refering to, I am still quite sure it is not the worst thing I have ever been called in my life. No worries, I do not take it personally, for I know you are simply paying back that which you suffered in your own trainee days. (And in that vein, while there are many jokes about the seriousness of black leather I applaud the daring fashion statement of apparently going through one mission in a football jersey.)

[x-roulette.livejournal.com]

*consults with Kyle's mysteriously wet roommate*

He says it's a Chupcabra.

[x-cannonball.livejournal.com]

Hm. Mosquito might be good for either Marius or Jan... Since Jennie has vetoed anything remotely sexual, how about...Keno? Or whatever that crazy sort of bingo/poker hybrid game that old ladies play is called. Beast Boy has definite possibilities for Kyle. :) For Forge, I suggest Mr. Roboto.

[x-blink.livejournal.com]

DOMO ARIGATO MR ROBOTO!!!!!!

[x-wasp.livejournal.com]

Mosquito? Bleh. I'm like Tinkerbell, or a fairy or a pixie or something. We should think "tiny and cute" not "tiny and annoying and swatted into the nearest wall."